angel winged devil

I watched you guys get hurt and suffer from the forbidden words we swore to never speak.

It affected you. Your door broke. The world put to much pressure and it fell.

But I watched.

Became scared of what would happen if I fell. So I never spoke. But that was my damage.

your door was unhinged while mine was bolted.

All my scars were carved into the corner bathroom stall in the 100 hall.

No one knew about the hurt I stuffed in my middle school year book.

you didn’t know anything.

why I wore a long sleeve everyday in the middle of summer.

The way my friends never really cared.

resentment created from a family I couldn’t turn too.

the pain that was caused when you spoke to me about my flaws.

I mean as long as I smiled everything is fine right? As long as I went out every week that meant I was close to fucking perfect.

I tried to tell you this.

You said it wasn’t that bad. that I couldn’t relate.

What was behind your door was much worse than mine. But mine still fucking sucked.

you didn’t listen then and you don’t listen now.

12:07

12:08

12:09

12:10

i sat contemplating

did you not hear the kitchen drawer open and the cry I tried so hard to cover up?

One little cut and it was too much

But

how did it come to this?

how could a 14 year old girl hate so much in the world? how could she be so sad she wanted another life?

my heart aches for the boy who now watched over everyone bc he felt the pressure he thought he couldn’t escape.

maybe we would’ve held hands tonight but I now look up at the stars wishing your okay.